Many of these are cliché, I know, but the other day, I stumbled across this mildly amusing list of the top six things you’ll never hear a husband say to his wife:

6.  “Here honey, you use the remote.”
5.  “Ooh, Antonio Banderas and Brad Pitt?  That’s a movie I gotta see!”
4.  “I’d love to drink chai tea and talk about my feelings with you and your girlfriends.”
3.  “Let me hold your purse while you try that on.”
2.  “Why don’t you come to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes.”
1.  “Forget Monday Night Football, let’s watch Supernanny.”

For the record, I will hold my wife’s purse while she’s trying something on.  I won’t watch Supernanny instead of Monday Night Football.

The book of Hebrews, which we begin reading today, isn’t a book per se, but a sermon.  We do not know who preached this sermon, but he begins with a list of the top six things you’ll never hear God say to one of his angels.  They are:

6. “You are my Son; today I have become your Father.” (verse 5)
5.  “I will be his Father, and he will be my Son.” (verse 5)
4.  “Let all God’s angels worship him.” (verse 6)
3. “Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever, 
and righteousness will be the scepter of your kingdom.  You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.” (verses 8-9)
2. “In the beginning, O Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands.  They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment.  You will roll them up like a robe; like a garment they will be changed. But you remain the same, and your years will never end.” (verses 10-12)
1.  “Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.” (verse 13)

This list of top six things, cited from the Old Testament, is meant to argue that, because God has said these things to Jesus while refusing to say these things even to his angels, Jesus is “superior to the angels” (verse 4) and is “the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being” (verse 3).  That is, he is God Almighty himself.  In other words, this sermon argues that Jesus isn’t just one divine being among many; rather, he is the divine being who created the very heavens and the earth.  No one can compare to him.  As such, God says things to Jesus that he would never say to any other divine being.

For the two millennia since he walked this earth, many people have said many things about Jesus.  Some have talked about Jesus as a great prophet, others have called him an enlightened teacher.  Still others have tried to deny, futilely and unsuccessfully, that Jesus ever existed.  He was simply a figure, these scholars would say, of sectarian Jewish Messianic expectations.

In the midst of a world where so many things are said about Jesus, it is important, the preacher of Hebrews argues, to listen to what God has said to Jesus.  For it is in the voice of God that we hear a true description and depiction of who Jesus really is.  And Jesus, according to God himself, is superior over all.  He is superior over all the angels, he is superior over all the earth, he is superior over every problem and every pain and every worry and every care.  Jesus is superior over all – even you.

Every day, we face things which, frankly, are superior over us.  A sickness, a tragedy, a loss – these things are unstoppable by us because they’re superior over us.  There are many things in this world over which we have no say or sway.  But as superior as those things might be over us, they’re not superior over Jesus.  For Jesus is superior over all.  And this means that Jesus can work out even the most gut-wrenching problems of this world, which are all too gleeful to sink their sadistic claws into our souls.  They may be superior over us, but they’re not superior over Jesus.  So whatever superior problem you might face today, take it to Jesus.  For there is nothing he can’t handle.

Oh what sordid stories the office water cooler could tell.  Yes, there are the Monday morning conversations about the Sunday afternoon football games.  Those are innocuous enough.  But then there are the less savory conversations – the ones that tend to be whispered rather than spoken.  “Did you hear,” one person might murmur, “that Steve’s wife caught him at a bar with another woman?”  “Yeah,” another might respond, “I heard she didn’t let him to come home last night.”  Oh what sordid stories that office water cooler could tell.  Are they important stories?  Perhaps, but they are certainly not appropriate in the context of the water cooler.  Are they edifying stories?  Most certainly not.  Are they juicy and enthralling stories?  Yes.  And that’s why people can’t resist sharing them in their best tabloid like tenor.

In our reading for today from 2 Thessalonians 3, Paul addresses much of the conversation that is shared around office water coolers.  He writes:  “We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat” (verses 11-12).  Paul warns that those who do not work will find work to do.  But it will not be noble work; rather, it will be the sinful work of gossip.  Paul’s wordplay in verse 11 is masterful and is retained quite well by the NIV.  The Greek word for “busy” is ergazomai while the word for “busybody” is periergazomai.  Notice the preposition of the second word – peri – from whence we get our English word “perimeter,” meaning, “around.”  Paul’s argument is this:  If a person does not work, he will “work around,” so to speak, running around and butting into other people’s affairs.  Such busybody work is sinful and dangerous.

True work, not busybody work, is a gift from God.  Indeed, when God created the heavens and the earth, one of the things we are told about the first man Adam is: “The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it” (Genesis 2:15).  We were created not for idleness, but for work.  Sadly, many people have traded their God-given mandate to work for the allures of laziness and “working around.”  One 2005 survey found that the average office worker spends 2.09 hours per day surfing the internet when he or she should be working.  Of course, these time wasters had a whole host of excuses as to why they fritter away their work hours.  “I’m underpaid for the work I do,” some said.  “My co-workers distract me,” others responded.  And then there was, “I don’t have enough evening or weekend time to relax.”  But regardless of the excuse, the bottom line is this:  Such idleness breaks the command of God.

So how are we, as Christians, to respond to the gossip, laziness, and lethargy so prevalent among so many?  Paul gives us this answer:  “As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good” (verse 13, ESV).  We are to roll up our sleeves and do good – yes, even to those who are lazy, lethargic, and busybodies.  Idleness and gossip may mark the ways of the world, but it should not mark the way of a Christian. So what good thing can you do today?  It may be work, but remember, God made you to find joy in such work.  Thank God for the tasks he has given you today.

Our last presidential election battle was a nail biter – at least on the Democrat side of the ticket.  Two candidates, neck and neck, dueling it out, and spending exorbitant amounts of campaign cash in hopes of becoming either the first African American or the first female president of the United States.

In her concession speech to now President Obama, now Secretary of State Hillary Clinton uttered some words that have become a rallying cry of sorts for those who continue to hold out hope that there will one day be a female president.  She said, “If we can blast 50 women into space, we will someday launch a woman into the White House.  And although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it’s got about 18 million cracks in it” (Clinton, 6.7.2008).  Clinton was referring, of course, to her 18 million supporters who voted for her in the presidential primary.  And indeed, those glass ceilings, once so prevalent in circles of power, have lost much of their assumed invulnerability as both men and women have risen to meet the daunting challenges of the twenty first century.

In our reading for today from 2 Thessalonians 2, we meet a leader who is seeking to shatter the high, hard glass ceilings of this world’s positions of power, except that this leader is seeking to shatter them for his own sinister purposes.  The apostle Paul warns:

Now concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered together to him, we ask you, brothers, not to be quickly shaken in mind or alarmed, either by a spirit or a spoken word, or a letter seeming to be from us, to the effect that the day of the Lord has come. Let no one deceive you in any way. For that day will not come, unless the rebellion comes first, and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of destruction, who opposes and exalts himself against every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, proclaiming himself to be God. (verses 1-4, ESV)

Shortly before the return of Christ, there will come a man of lawlessness.  And this man of lawlessness, according to verse 4, will seek to “oppose and exalt himself against” the authority of the world’s most powerful leaders who, in the days referred to here, will consider themselves to be “gods.”  The Greek for the phrase “oppose and exalt” is antikeimenos kai hyperairomenos.  Notice the prefixes:  anti and hyper.  Anti for “oppose” and hyper for “exalt.”  This man of lawlessness, it seems, will be both contrary to others and consider himself better than others.  In the midst of many “so-called gods” (verse 4), all of whom have ego problems because they think of themselves as divine, this guy will have the ultimate ego problem.  And it is his ego problem that will relentlessly drive him to shatter the glass ceilings of this world’s power structures.

But for all of the glass ceilings that this man of lawlessness may be able to shatter, there is one glass ceiling through which he will never be able to rise:  the glass ceiling above which the true sovereign of the universe, God Almighty, sits.  Yes, this man of lawlessness might try to “proclaim himself to be God” (verse 4), but he will fail miserably.  For Paul continues:  “The lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will kill with the breath of his mouth and bring to nothing by the appearance of his coming” (verse 8).  With just his breath, Jesus will destroy the coming man of lawlessness.  For although the man of lawlessness can stand against and rise above other wicked rulers of the world, he cannot stand against and rise above the good Creator of the world.  And although the man of lawlessness might be able to shatter the glass ceilings of this world’s power structures, when it comes to the glass ceiling of God, he won’t be able to put even a single crack in it, much less 18 million cracks.  And that’s good news.  Because for all the glass ceilings we might want to see shattered, God’s glass ceiling is one we want to see stand strong.  Because God’s highest, hardest glass ceiling means that our salvation is secure.  Praise be to God!

He was known as the Roseland Killer.  In the summer of 2000, Chicago’s south side was terrorized by a series of seven murders, all of women, most of whom were indigent.  After striking, the killer would leave his victims’ bodies in abandoned buildings around town to be found later by law enforcement officials.

Eventually, the long arm of the law caught up Geoffrey Griffin.  In his 2005 trial, Griffin was sentenced to 100 years in prison for his deranged acts, although he was acquitted of one woman’s murder, Beverly Burns, even though forensics reports showed Burns’ blood splattered on one of Griffin’s shirts.  Burns’ daughter, Jeanna, reacted angrily to Griffin’s acquittal:  “I hate you,” she said to him.  “I hope you burn in hell.”

“I hope you burn in hell.”  Those words have been said at more than one murder trial.  For when someone commits a crime so grizzly and heinous that no temporal punishment can serve as appropriate recompense, those effected by the crime have no other recourse than to hope in divinely wrought wrath.  And so they say, “I hope you burn in hell.”

Of course hell isn’t a real place.   At least, that’s the majority consensus on the smoldering sewer of sulfur.  After all, thorny philosophical foxholes concerning a loving God and his ability, or lack thereof, to consign people to a place of eternal damnation have long since dispensed with such silly notions as hell.  And yet, fascinatingly, people seem to be perfectly willing to resurrect the prospect of an eternal inferno for the worst among us – serial killers, rapists, terrorists, genocidal maniacs, and the like.  For there seems to be something inside of us which cries out for justice – a justice that will right the wrongs of rabid wickedness.  And, in some instances, the only appropriate form of justice seems to be hell.  And so we say, in the face of grave evil, “I hope you burn in hell.”

No matter which way the philosophical winds might blow, theologically and biblically, hell is indeed a real place.  It is a place, in fact, that is addressed quite colorfully by Paul in our reading for today from 2 Thessalonians 1:

God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his power. (verses 6-9)

Paul is painstakingly clear:  In the face of grave human injustice, God will bring his divine justice.  And his divine justice will be rendered through the fires of hell.

So what are we to do?  How are we to respond?  Are we to, like one who has just had his life shattered by a criminal mastermind, anxiously anticipate our enemies’ interminable anguish in God’s pool of pyre?  Are we to announce to our enemies, “I hope you burn in hell”?  Hardly.  For Paul continues, “With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling” (verse 11).  Paul does not want anyone, whether friend or enemy, to burn in hell.  Instead, he prays earnestly that more and more people may be found worthy of their calling from God through Christ.  Paul’s prayer is for salvation, not damnation.

Hell is the place of God’s justice.  But so is heaven.  The difference is, heaven is God’s justice in light of Christ’s righteousness while hell is God’s justice in light of our own righteousness, or, more accurately, our own lack of righteousness.  Which course of God’s justice would you care to receive?  You will receive one or the other.

I would challenge you to pray constantly, like Paul, for those not guarded by Christ’s righteousness unto salvation.  Pray that they would receive God’s righteousness through Christ.  For it is this righteousness that infinitely exceeds any justice wrought by hell.  For it is this righteousness that can turn sinners into saints and despots into devouts.  And that’s a kind of justice that we can all hope in.  And so, “I hope you beam in heaven.”  I really do.

There’s nothing that a copy of an ancient Mayan calendar can’t help you with if you’re trying to figure out the exact date and nature of the end of the world.  At least, that’s what the producers of the apocalyptic blockbuster 2012 want you to believe.  Yes, the plot line is thin.  Yes, the lines are cheesy.  Yes, what is stretched into a three-hour taedium vitae could have been compacted into forty minutes.  But on the upside, who doesn’t want to see Los Angeles fall into the ocean?  Or Las Vegas sink into the earth? Who doesn’t want to watch every beloved national landmark get blown to smithereens?  Besides, it’s not like everything gets destroyed.  The G8 has an escape plan for a fortunate few:  Arks have been hidden in the Himalayas, complete with animals, for the reseeding and replenishing of our fair planet.

Although I, from the standpoint of sheer mathematical probability, would venture a guess that the world won’t end in 2012, I’m guessing that more than one moviegoer, while sitting through this unpropitious hodgepodge, wished that, at the very least, this movie would end.  For, in the final analysis, it all seems to be just a little too much doom and too much gloom.  Although disaster might light up the silver screen well, no one would want to live through such terrors in real life.

It is this kind of apocalyptic horror that leads us to our reading from 1 Thessalonians 4.  For Paul speaks of the end of the world:

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. (verses 13-18)

For those who harbor horrendous notions concerning the world’s end, these verses from Paul have been regularly marshaled to teach the doctrine of a secret rapture.  That is, before the world’s final demise, believers in Christ will be secretly “caught up” to God to dwell with him in safety while the rest of unbelieving humanity gets microwaved in a 2012-styled apocalypse.  This, however, is far from what Paul actually teaches.

To begin with, the rapture of Christians will be anything but secret.  Verse 16 dispenses with any such notion when it speaks of “a loud command…and the trumpet call of God.”  When believers are “raptured,” everyone will know it.  Second, this so-called “rapture” will not happen before the end of time.  Again, verse 16:  “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven.”  This rapture happens at Christ’s second coming and not before.  Third, what Paul describes in these verses is not a rescue from a crumbling planet, but a joyful welcome of our coming King:  “We who are still alive and are left will be caught up together…in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.”  The “rapture,” then, is not some divinely ordained escape hatch from this world, but a “meet and greet” of our Lord Jesus.  Indeed, it was common in this day for people to leave their city and travel down the road to meet and greet a visiting dignitary to warmly usher him in to their town.  Josephus records one such instance when the high priest of Israel, Jaddua, does just this for Alexander the Great:  “And when Jaddua understood that Alexander was not far from the city, he went out in procession, with the priests and the multitude of the citizens” (Antiquities 11.329).  Josephus goes on to recount that Alexander was so impressed by Jaddua’s welcome that he salutes the high priest.  This is the picture which Paul paints of the coming of Christ.  We, as Christ’s subjects, will go forth to meet him and welcome him to this earth, at which time he will judge the nations and usher in his new creation.

What is the upshot of all this, then?  Paul answers, “Encourage each other with these words” (verse 14).  That is, rather than trembling at hoary visions of apocalyptic doom, we ought to be anxiously anticipating Christ’s final advent.  The end of the world is meant to be encouraging, not scary.  This is why the earliest Christians faithfully prayed, “Come, Lord Jesus” (Revelation 22:20)!  The end of the world will not be riddled with complete carnage; rather, it will be marked by a King named Christ.  What a marvelous day it will be.